i asked lk to put her shoes on. she said no. after a few minutes of a temper tantrum i put her in timeout.
after 4 minutes of screaming at the top of her lungs and kicking the stairs i go back to where she is sitting so we can discuss this punishment. i asked her "do you know what you did to get timeout?" she said that no, she did not in fact know why she was in timeout. we discussed respectful behavior and how refusing to put her shoes on when i asked her to and then throwing a fit are disrespectful. we went over ways a 4 year old can be respectful.i told her that obeying the first time, cleaning up, and being helpful were all ways she could contribute to help our day be more fun.
to close i asked her, "what do you need to do next time i ask you to do something."
she replied "go straight to timeout."